Thursday, April 9, 2009

The fuzz on the back of your neck that just won't go away.

I have had numerous near death or near severe injury situations in my life, but these situations get even more interesting when they involve our "courteous, professional, and respectful" officers of the New York Police Department.

Wearing that finely pressed navy blue uniform grants you the ability to wield your gun at whoever you please, shackle innocent bystanders, harass homeless people, and many other amazing benefits. Hiding behind the shield, you obtain a license to kill, even if you are nowhere near as skilled or intelligent as James Bond.

As I was driving home from school last week, I proceeded into a normally busy intersection. Considering the fact that the light was as green as a single rupee in Zelda, I figured I was in the clear. However, we underestimated the power of the fuzz. As I was passing through this intersection, a flash of white and blue came darting at me from my left side like Michael Strahan. I come to a screeching halt in the middle of the street as a cop car flies right past me. Now given, if these two pigs would have had their lights on or "whoop-whoop"ed (a sound that each and every New Yorked knows, and understands very well) me a few times, I would have happily let them proceed on their life or death journey to the nearest Dunkin Donuts.

If I was slightly less observant, or if I would have been looking down trying to change the song on my iPod, or paying attention to one of another million different things, KAPUTS. The end. Fin. Bye-bye birdie.

Now, this is the second time this has happened to. The other time was in long island when a cop decided that he was going to come flying off of an expressway exit ramp while I'm driving passed a green light.

What is the point of having laws if the people who are supposed to enforce the law act as if they are above them?

Dirty, rotten, NYPD pigs man.


I should probably add a disclaimer here before I offend too many people lol. I am friends with a few cops, and my cousin is a cop so I know they're not all bad. Just enjoy the generalizations.


  1. Yeah but I am as skilled and intelligent as James Bond, man.

    Also, my Sean Connery impersonation is impeccable. Ask anyone, it's true!

  2. Now all your missing is a uniform and a gun. You hold no authority without the shield on your shoulder.

  3. Hi. That was narrow escape. Congrats to you.